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Queensland march into the semis, and beyond?
Queensland march into the semis, and beyond?
(A report from the land of the Queens)
16 May 2001
Anyone Still Interested in the Super 12?

Hell, yes I hear you say, but not as much as I there was a kiwi side in it.

I will not follow the Aussie media and succumb to a bit of Kiwi baiting. Thatís just too easy, all you have to do is mention that for the first time they havenít got a side in the Super 12 due to player burnout and 3 of their sides finished in the last 4 places. Lucky SA have the Bulls. My baiting is of higher art than that.

Back to the real issue. QLD v the feral nags, yes I do know that the spineless creature that swims in the sea are playing the pussy cats but I leave the analysis to any SA out there.

The might maroons have been on a role since Round 8 when they decided it was time to do a Crusaders and start winning in order to get them into the final series (any bites yet, this would almost be heresy in this group). Qld performance prior to Rd 8 will not be discussed as it isnít worth the cyberspace that it is written on. However, post week 8 it is a different story and here it is.

Rd 8 v the Bulls
Damn itís late. This is it. If the *!$#ers donít win against the Bulls Iím going to demand a refund on the season ticket. The loss against the Stormers was like Greg Norman choking on the final putt. Final result, ugly rugby but a win.

Rd 9 v the Sharks
Back at Ballymore the ground looks in good shape. Nice seats this year (missed the ACT game) and am enjoying the resurrection of afternoon rugby. Beer has gone up again. Waiting for the players to run out. What the ####. Will someone shoot that gay mascot. Iím serious Qld has the gayest looking mascot in the competition, this pansy weedy koala is a disgrace. No wonder we have been losing. Oh great here come the cheerleaders another few wasted minutes.

The players arrive finally. Play begins. Oh shit. This doesnít look good. Go down stairs for another beer to wipe away the disgust I am feeling about the effort in the forwards. Anyway the second half arrives and who put the angry juice in water? This is better. Yes, they actually want to play. The forwards are clearing at the breakdown (a bit like watching a Kiwi line up for their Aussie dole check at Bondi, now there is a nibble) and they have reorganised the backline to get rid of the weakest link: Williams. A great win in the second half and Iím feeling better about the season.

Rd 10 v Cats
Iím looking forward to the rugby again. Oh shit. Whereís the ####ing dog can someone get him to bite the mascot and hump the legs of the pre-game entertainment. If I wanted to see some girls jiggle their bits I would have gone to a stip club. Ah the rugby. Nice start and nicer win. Donít like this Williams kiddy at all.

Rd 11 v Otago
Another Sunday afternoon at Ballymore. QLD are on a roll the beer is just as sweet and Iím really enjoy the view from these seats. Deliberately ignore the pre-game entertainment and stay at the bar for a little bit longer. What a start! 2 tries nice and quick, it looks as though they have got their second win over a kiwi side. Now we know that we are back on track. But seriously folks, what the #### is this Williams choker doing on the field? If I wanted to watch the keystone cops I would watch the Auckland Blues (now that is a nibble).

Pre Rd 12 deliberately stir up NSW supporters all week. There is nothing quite like this. It is even easier than kiwis. All you have to do is mention-having pride in your state and the fact that NSW chances of wining against QLD are like the All Blacks chances of winning another World Cup (now they are biting).

Rd 12 v NSW
Deliberately invite NSW supporter over to hurl abuse at. Miss a lot of the game as for both sides taunting takes precedent here and I can always watch the tape again. After the game mention something like "NSW is just like Monica, always goes down when it counts." (A bit like the NZ air force).

Yes we are in the Semis, I can wear my Qld jumper for another week to taunt the NSW supporters. Still need to do something about that liability Williams.

Now for the Brumbies. What have they done? Who cares? Itís time to break-in some nags. Then travel on to thump some SA side so that once again QLD can raise the cup of success. Hell I know we havenít won it since the Super 10ís. Enough said. Before my vision of success can come to fruition and QLD mounts the podium of success I will go and break that Williams kiddies leg and prevent a hole in the backline.

by Geeves

Let us know what you think!

Ah Geeves, you really should be looking for a career in international relations mate, your knowledge of Kiwi Culture is truely astounding!? 8)

Given that most of your jibes are actually factual I don't think you'll generate too much anger from us Kiwis. In fact the way you bagged the Blues has me liking you already!

Supposedly this article has been viewed 1323 times since we bothered to start counting*.
(Although it could have just been Geeves on the Reload button doing some serious ego padding!)