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Easy points for Reds in the final rounds
Easy points for Reds in the final rounds
(Well most of them easy)
30 Apr 2002
Had to get myself some new glasses recently as the maroon had started to fade. So its time to throw some controversial comments about Qld performance over the last couple of weeks and ignite a few fires to keep the opposition pissed off. Like mentioning, in passing, that I'll be going to RWC 2003 here in beautiful Brisvegas.

Qld turn Bulls into Steers: Qld (48) v Bulls (12)

Seeing as though no one had provided commentary about their side kicking the crap out of the Bulls I thought I would keep with tradition and give myself the week off. Qld won, not surprisingly so I didn't have to cash in my season ticket.

The game was played in the manner of "Look we already know we have won the game so lets break Dell's cherry". Yes the Reds did their best to make sure that Dell broke the drought and once he finally made it over the crowd orgasmed. All I was thinking is $650,000 for 1 try. Okay so he ended up with 2 bites at the cherry so it was only $325,000 per try. At least he is no longer as 'Blue' as the Bulls who are still waiting to win their first game of the year. At least they got a bonus point against the Blues. Hell that must be embarrassing for the Blues and the Brumbies.

The best part about the game was the tackling by Steve Kefu, Tune and Latham. Steve hammered the poor bull and Tune nearly put his counterpart into the stands. But Latham's tackle was the hit of the night. Latham smashed into the Bulls player who had just taken the ball and then chucked him over the sideline, which set up a Qld lineout.

Qld Skins the Cats: Qld (27) v Cats (15)

Hello what's this? The Qld side turned up to play against the Cats. The forwards have been going forward and providing quality ball to the Rauluni. Keep Ordinary on that bench (the voodoo dolls are paying off again as he goes OS next year) over the last few weeks. This has allowed Flatley to distribute the ball as he wants and effectively destroy the opposition.

The first half by the Qld was sensational. They controlled the ball, the game and ran in three tries in the first half with ease. There was a momentary lapse in defence as the Cats tapped and ran at a penalty. Who thought they would have copied Rauluni so quickly (2 tries in the last 2 weeks), keep Ordinary on the bench, McBrains.

However, the injury to Flatley's hip allowed Latham to illustrate why he isn't first choice kicker for the Reds. This injury was obviously serious as he only lasted for 5 minutes into the second half and then Scotney choked. Then the Reds played very ugly. Stiles dropped the ball just short of the try line and the game deteriorated even further. The only bright spark was Latham's individual try.

Oh yes Sailor didn't score a try and Tune is still uninjured. So its still $325,000 per try. (Add 20% to convert to Sheep shearer's currency)

The Sharks Blow bubbles at home: Reds (30) v Sharks (29)

Well here we are at ‘Abscess' stadium with only 27,500 spectators bothering to turn up. You can't blame them as they already knew the home side would blow it in the second half. Am so confident of the win that I only watch replay. (Please insert the Latin translation for 'bos void' in here).

Damn the injuries started to fly in this game. T.Kefu is out for at least 4 weeks after being on the park for 4 minutes, S.Kefu out of the game by half time and Nathan Sharpe (on side line with injury). Without these three providing their characteristic hard running and defence, the reds looked brittle on a few occasions, in the first half which degenerated into a penalty shoot out. The Qld pack did cross the try line, in the first half, with a rolling maul but the ‘Telly ref' couldn't award it.

On the resumption of the game things are beginning to look even worse for the Reds. Flatley is playing on one leg and NZ referee is letting the Qld public knows what he thinks about the RWC 2003 with a few dodgy calls going against the Reds. Ordinary replaces Rauluni as he goes for a jaunt to the blood bin. Scotney has come on to do the kicking and thankfully Croft is still uninjured.

The Sharks cross the line twice before Latham is in for his first try and I start praying for 1 bonus point for a loss by 7 or less. The Qld defence is now bleeding like a stuck pig as the Sharks waltz in for their third try and I start pacing the floor throwing verbal abuse at everything. ####ing useless ref, defence and damn SA, every time Qld visits half the ####ing side gets injured. Its now 29-20 to the Sharks and I'm pissed off and I'm wondering how I'll explain this at Rugbyheads. Quick start finding excuses!

Rauluni gets back on, gets pissed off with the ref and hits him in the head with the ball with a fantastic pass. I applauded loudly as he has been in the way all game. Then the ref gives the feed to the Sharks. Now WTF. Anyway the Qld pack get the ball and drives it up the field for yet another penalty shot and its now 29-23 to the Sharks. Scotney defiantly has some confidence after kicking those 2 easy ones. Go the Reds.

Sharks counter and make easy meters up the field and the move breaks down with a forward pass. Qld again make it up into the Sharks territory and Flatley unleashes Latham with a beautiful pass. Latham runs, he's through one, two, three and beats four to the tryline.

Now's it 29-28, to the Shraks, can the Reds resemble Lazarus and pull this game out of the bag. Scotney lines up the conversion and I'm praying that the Sharks don't charge down the kick. Scotney kicks and the ball sails over and I jump up and down like an 'ekky freak' as I see that the clock has reached 80 minutes and Qld lead 30-29. But the game goes on and then I realise it's the bloody SA clock which is never the same as the refs.

A nervous couple of minutes remain until the game dies down and I'm pacing the floor barely being able to watch the game until the ref blows the whistle. I then join in with Latham's celebration by throwing my hands into the air. However, unlike Latham I forget about my dodgy shoulder and end up rolling around in pain. Another bloody Qld injury.

Oh yes simple sailor got close to the line but its still $325,000 per try and Tune is uninjured.

QLD v NSW: The Prequel


The injuries are severe going into the game: T. Kefu and Grey are definitly out, Waugh, S. Kefu, Herbert, Flatley, Sharpe, Tuiavii, and Noriega all battling to be fit. This will take some of the shine out of the game but not the feeling.

I looking forward to sitting at Ballymore and watching Qld get its 5 points and then on to 'the house of pain' for a win.

The Tahs were lucky to scrape home against the Hurricanes. Who would have thought Cullen and Lomu were on the take. Qld welcomes you to your losing streak to start and continue at Ballymore. That's right the Tahs will be crushed at Ballymore on Sunday, get humiliated at Jade and then pummelled again at Ballymore in the semi's.

Go QLD. Go the Reds

by Geeves

Let us know what you think!

Geeves, that even tops Nathan's Hurricanes vs Tahs preview for pissing off virtually all of our readers. Bloody good effort!

I hope for your sake it doesn't have a similar affect on your teams chances!

Supposedly this article has been viewed 1325 times since we bothered to start counting*.
(Although it could have just been Geeves on the Reload button doing some serious ego padding!)