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The Ugliest Team in the World
The Ugliest Team in the World
(A tribute...)
09 May 2002
What do you get when you combine the Munsters, the Addams Family, a hideously deformed tyre advertisment and the Swamp monster? Yes, folks, you got it in one... the Monster Mash, they're a graveyard smash - scarier than Madame Tussauds at night - it's the New South Wales Waratahs!

Proudly boasting an incredible number of fabulously repulsive rugby specimens, NSW have too many mutants to write about them all. But heres the story of two of their undead for your amusement and edification, whatever that means..

When Chernobyl blew its head gasket, the Michelin Man was nearby, slightly pissed and holidaying with his sexy friend Tatyana the Pole Vaulter. Tragically he stumbled drunkenly into the thick cloud of radioactive vodka fumes which was billowing from the plant.

Horrified eye witness accounts say that minutes later he emerged from the mists on the other side, hideously transformed into Matt Dunning. With more spare tyres than ever he still managed to intercept Tatyana and very nearly score a runaway... Spotted by a talent scout he was signed up by the cornflower-blues within hours.

Two career options faced Phil Waugh as a young man. Being relatively greedy he trotted into Sydney to interview for the higher paid of his two options. Though he put in a spectacularly natural performance, he just dipped out on securing the lucrative movie role of Swamp Monster, despite requiring no expensive make-up or latex.

Surprisingly he was just edged out by a then unknown Mr J.O'Neill - who completed the part and went on to a successful career in cheap stick movies. However all was not lost. Needing a "really scary bastard" for his forward pack, Bob Dwyer picked him up immediately for the Tah's.

You definitely don't have to be pretty to win rugby games - as the Tah's have proved to us all in 2002. And despite the harrowing experience of having to watch them play at least one extra game this year, we congratulate the cornflower-blues on making the Super12 top four. Shame really that they will be humiliated and smashed by the much more pleasant looking Crusaders outfit.

by Wobbly

Let us know what you think!

Hmmm... Nice to have their history explained, but it doesn't really help me though. I'll still be sticking black paper over the Waratahs half of the TV screen on Saturday night.
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(Although it could have just been Wobbly on the Reload button doing some serious ego padding!)