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Time for a rough Red
Time for a rough Red
(the 2004 arse ripping vintage)
04 Feb 2004

Well after 3 coaches in 3 years the author is feeling slightly pissed off.  Itís getting as bad as NSW.  Hell after the legacy of Templeton and Connolly to this pathetic merry go round situation, I am definitely not impressed.  Now combined with the retirements of Qld and Australian rugby stalwarts a lot of people are starting to dismiss the QLD chances next year and Iím going to put you heathen disbelievers back into your place. Praise be to Qld Rugby!

 

For those living in a cultural desert, Miller is now the coach.  His last serious appointment as a coach was his sonís U12 side!  Before that he was an assistant Wallaby coach. He was also the bloke who appointed Slack (the old one year wonder).  He will perform and unleash the true potential of the followers of the faith onto the unbelievers.

 

I am more confident about this yearís chances than I was about last years.  QLD has pruned its trunk (but not fully) and allowed some young shoots to finally emerge.  The greatest weakness or potential for the QLD is still within the front row and now the new centres. 

 

There has been a loss of rugby stalwarts retiring and/or going OS: Totai Kefu, Daniel Herbert, Mat Cockbain, Glen Panaho, Tune (out of season).  You could say we are rebuilding but I reckon its time to unleash the youth brigade that is going to smite the atheist.

 

I want a rough and hard hittin Red produced this season that makes you wondering what the hell happened to the opposition.  I want to see raw passion and bone breaking tackling that puts the heathen disbelievers in their place before the backline puts the sword into the foes of righteous.

 

Yet again Qld has to battle the devilish NZ teams first before it gets into the easy SA and those 5 gimmie NSW points.  Qld will surprise everyone in their opening match and then march onto victory by sealing a top four finish with a home ground advantage and from there they wonít be threatened.

 

Forwards

A couple of nice young blokes in the making here. What am I saying they aint nice and they are going to hurt some also-rans in the other sides and make them wish they didnít underestimate the maroon jersey that inflicts pain on the unjust.

 

Front Row:  Stiles, McIsaac, Scott

Players:  Nick Stiles, Fletcher Dyson, Angus Scott, Anthony Mathison, Pete Niumata, Rodney Blake

Hookers: Sean Hardman, Tai McIsaac, Stephen Moore

 

I am concerned with the front row especially the appointment of Stiles as VC (see Blackadderís comments re definition of VC), I wanted Pete Niumata.  Pete collected more man of the match awards than a front row should ever receive.  He is an absolute workhorse in any game that I have seen him in. Great hands and a side step that puts Dunning to shame.   I am expecting Stiles to either lift dramatically or get shoved out of the way.  Hell he wonít be the first VC to be given the arse during a season!

 

In fact anyone but Dyson in the tighthead spot. I donít know who he passed the medical or the liability exam.  No I do know how he passed as a liability.

 

McIsaac will lay down a serious challenge for the wallaby hooking spot and Paul wonít even make the squad while Cannon will ride the pine.  While Moore, the goto bloke for QU, will kick Hardman to the wilderness.

 

Locks/Back Row:

Sharpe, ? , ? Roe and Croft.

Squad: Nathan Sharpe, Rudi Vedelago, Van Humphries, Daniel Heenan, Adam Wallace-Harrison, David Croft, John Roe, Tom McVerry, Luke Doherty

 

The battle is on to see who will partner Sharpe in the second row and who gets the no. 6 jumper.   Inside betting is that the two spots being split between Vedelago, Heenan and Wallace-Harrison.  Be warned who ever comes off the bench is going to be pissed at missing a run on spot and will want to hurt someone, hopefully the opposition!

 

You have seen Vedelago destroy the Maoris (2002) and Heenan has been nominated as a potential wallaby of the future.  But you wonít know Wallace-Harrison.  He did his knee last year in the opening minute of the warm-up games last year, he is big and mean.  You have been warned! Who ever gets the no.6 for QLD will be worth buying in the FR comp especially if Wallace-Harrison gets selected.

 

The prodigal son Humphries returns after giving up on NSW and will probably be on the bench but will have a lot of pressure on him from McVerry and Doherty.  For the true game style to be employed by Qld this year check on the number of forwards in the reserves.

 

I reckon its going to be hard forwards whoís aim will be to clear a path for the backs to exploit a retreating oppositions backline with plenty of tries out to the back three.

 

Backs:

9. Valentine, 10. Flatley, 11. Hynes, 12. Kefu/Atkinson, 13. Pelasasa,            

14. Sailor, 15. Latham

 

Josh Valentine, Tim Atkinson, Damian Hoo, Elton Flatley, Steve Kefu, Junior Pelesasa, Sailor, Peter Hynes, Drew Mitchell, Scott Barton, Chris Latham, Voodoo Doll.

 

Flatleyís shrine received a double shot of square bear when he was named captain for the year.  Hasnít that capped off a good 12 months for a bloke who got dropped for missing a recovery session.  (You ####ing dolt Chucky).

 

I am sorry but this pathetic experiment of the Voodoo Doll in the 5/8 role, during the warm up matches, will not last.  After he gets humiliated again in the opening 20 minutes against the Highlanders he will disappear into thin air, Flatley will take his proper spot in 5/8 and lead QLD to a memorable victory.  Unfortunately there is no backup for Flatley in the 5/8 apart from the Voodoo Doll so I am currently trying my best to appease the gods of rugby through blackmail, cohesion and bribery so that Flatley doesnít get injured this year. While funding advanced cloning technology to have fully developed replacements on hand if he does get injured.

 

There is going to be a real battle for spots in the centres.  Pelasasa should nail down the OC spot after a couple of years breaking his leg, twice.  I am looking forward to his return and anyone who saw his efforts against the Lions knows his potential.

 

IC should be interesting Atkinson v Steve Kefu.  Tune for those who donít know is recovering from yet more surgery and wonít play in the Super 12 this year. Atkinson has a real chance to take over from the only surviving member of the Kefu clan in the Qld squad (I have no idea what happened to the other 2).

 

Hynes is only member of the back three you blokes donít know.  He did play a couple of Super 12 games last year, made the World U 21 side and was a real attacking spark for UQ this year in the Brisbane club comp.  I am expecting big things from him during the Super 12 and is a bargain in the FR comp.  I think he will be better than Damien Smith and faster than Tune in his heyday.

 

Reds Draw

Date

H/A

Opposition

QLD by

Comments

20 Feb

Away

Highlanders

7 or less

Opening game touch and go until Voodoo Doll sent from the field never to be seen again.

28 Feb

Home

Chiefs

7-14

Start of a winning home ground record

6 Mar

Home

Crusaders

7 or less

Biggest talking point about the Crusaders game play is whatís Meg done to her hair?

13 Mar

Home

Blues

7 or less

The Blues used to have the best back three in world rugby until the were left strewn across the park in embarassment.

28 Mar

Away

Brumbies

7-14

Gregan is humiliated and gives his Wallaby spot to Valentine.

3 April

Away

Hurricanes

7 or less

Nonu who?

10 April

Home

Stormers

14-21

I hate to do this to all you SA fans but who cares as long as QLD wins

16 April

Home

Bulls

14-21

24 April

Away

Sharks

7 or less

1 May

Away

Cats

14-21

8 May

Home

NSW

7-14

Bunny gets rugby lesson again! After performing well during the season QLD knocks NSW out of the race and into the wilderness again.  This is a guaranteed win.

15 May

Home

Semi-Final

7-14

Qld cements the victory with a try to Hynes on the bell.

22 May

Home

Final

7-14

Undefeated season.  QLD rugby recaptures the glory days of the Super 10ís. While I sprout verbal diarohea on the Rugbyheads site (well whatís new?)

 

Head Coach: Jeff Miller

Manager: Anthony Herbert

Asst Coach: Adrian Thompson

Backs Coach: Phil Mooney

Strength & Fitness coach: Damian Mednis

Fitness Consultant: Steve Nance

Skills Coach: Alex Evans

Doctor: Dr Mark Young

Physio: Cameron Lillicrap, Cath McDougall, Tom Hillier

Life Skills: Miranda Banks

 

What the hell is a life skills person?  Do they teach the player to brush their teeth?

 

I realise that I have provided more ammunition to the unbelievers so I know that the QLD Reds players wont let me down again with another pitful excuse for a season.   

by Geeves

Let us know what you think!

OK so you wrote this a week ago Geeves but I figured it would be funnier if I waited until the Crusaders had run rough-shod over your beloved Qlanders during the warmup match in Timaru before I posted your bold predictions!

However I saw you whinging on the board that it wasn't up yet so here it is. Don't let it be said that BT is an unfair man...

Supposedly this article has been viewed 1433 times since we bothered to start counting*.
(Although it could have just been Geeves on the Reload button doing some serious ego padding!)