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All Blacks are RWC Champions 2011-14!
All Blacks are RWC Champions 2011-14!
(Stephen Donald leads All Blacks to a RWC title, who wrote this script!?!)
24 Oct 2011
[RWC]

Mind still numb... 

RWC final, France vs New Zealand... big crowd at Cone Stadium, near capacity at 21 ... all happy and relaxed, looking forward to a cake walk from their beloved Blacks...

...anthems sung, awesome haka, France challenging it... IT'S ON...

kick off... ferocious start from both sides... obvious nerves though, and not just from the spectators unfortunately...

france knock on... then steal resulting lineout, bastards... Piri-the-unflapable gets a penalty shot though, but misses it very badly... hmm, maybe he is not the savior of the universe after all...

..play resumes, Cruden gets a tickle up, seems ok... French opposite Parra gets more than a tickle, more like a free ticket to disneyland, courtesy of Nonu's hip and then Richie's knee.... obviously accidental... Trinh-duc on to replace at least for now... 

Weepu kicks in the corner for lineout, he is back on... Woodcock scores a try... Woo Hoo!, Cone Stadium goes wild... 5-0 to NZ... Mr Fixit Weepu steps up for the conversion, and misses... aargh yips again....

...Parra's disneyland trip ends and he comes back on, still looking pretty wobbly... only to go off again permanently shortly after...

...Blacks put on the pressure, force another penalty, right in front... Piri the now decidely-flappable (you can see it in his eyes)... gingerly steps up, lines up the simple kick...and misses again... *whimper*

...play goes on, Whitelock steals a French lineout, the ball is swung along the backline, Cruden does his best jinky Quade Cooper impersonation, tweaks his knee and collapses in a heap, just like Cooper... noooo!... What is it with the Black No 10 jersey? That is top 3 choices all crocked, it's cursed, why didn't Ted take my advice and start Cruden in number 16...

...it's time to bring on the secret weapon... Stephen Donald takes off his trackie (showing a little belly, let's give him the benefit and say that the jersey was a bit small...) and subs on...

Trinh-Duc shows he is in the game, he misses a droppie then on the counter from the drop out shows some wheels to get France back on attack, but they cough it up, and Piri the not-at-all-confident kicks to touch to send the teams to the sheds...

 5-0 to the Blacks at the half!?! Well at least we have the 5...

...20 cups of tea, 3 cases of beer, and twelve bottles of wine later (and that was just the narrator requirements), and the second half begins... 

...soon after the kickoff Yachvili has a penalty shot from out wide in the ABs half. Fortunately it misses...

...from the restart NZ moves back on attack, with more great aerial skills from Kahui recovering a bomb... Trinh-Duc gets caught in the ruck and NZ get another penalty shot of their own... this time Stephen Donald gets the kicking duties (you can see the relief in Piri's eyes), and slots it! 8-0 to NZ! 

...French back on attack though, and man-of-the-match Dusatoir breaks through and scores right on the posts!.... Noooo!, this isn't a dream, it's a nightmare!...

Trinh-Duc converts and it's still NZ in front, but only by 1, 8-7... at ConeStadium DH appears to be catatonic... even more so that usual...

...still 35 minutes to go I say, optimistically... for some reason no one else in the room sees this as a plus... DH is now hugging his knees, rocking quietly and chanting "we're doomed"... I ignore that...

...Piri has that get-me-out-of-here look on his face as he sets up for the restart. He kicks.... it sails directly into touch, he raises his eyebrows and looks to the bench with a "what do I have to do to get outahere" look in his eyes... obviously someone else is looking, Andy Ellis takes his place...

...the next 25 minutes feel like a haze... both teams have some decent periods on attack, but the defence, and the nerves are telling, and there are no more points, just a long range penalty miss by france ...

...the french were definitely on top now, and it as only great All Black defense that was keeping them out...

...about 5 minutes to go and Money-Bill enters the scene... there had been some intense discussion about whether he should be on, but no one could agree who you would take off... in the end we agreed that he should just come on as well, surely 16 vs 15 we could hold out these damn french!...

...the 3 wise men solved the argument, and made a call that was within the rules, Nonu off, SBW on at second-five...

...France were even more desperate now, wisely keeping the ball in hand and just hammering at the All Black line... 

...after what seems like 53 phases of French swarm (surely they had more than 15 on there!)  there is some welcome relief, Conrad Smith hits Rougerie so hard that it must have rattled his teeth and it causes the French to knock it on... PHEW!!...

...at ConeStadium DH has actually passed out at this point (he has been holding his breath since the 70 minute mark) and has to be revived...

...getting possession back the ABs go into English rugby mode and pick and go the French to death for the final 4 minutes, milking a penalty or two in the process... (if those buggers can steal our jersey, we can steal their tactics when they are actually the ones to use!)...

...from the last penalty Stephen "Chosen-One" Donald safely kicks for touch, and the Bradinator claims the resulting lineout and Andy Ellis kicks it out!

GAME OVER, New Zealand are the Champs for "4 more years"!

by jules

Let us know what you think!

I was a little surprised to see that Ted didn't go with my suggested exceedingly cunning plan where the "injured" Dan Carter dresses up in a Stephen Donald suit, leads his boys to the promised land, and then to the surprise of everyone unveils on fulltime. That Henry guy always was a bit conservative eh?

All Blacks, RWC Champions 2011-14!

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